Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the disease.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he commented.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease progresses.
"Possibly that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters uniquely, and when I have the information, it's easier," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're understandably very emotional about it, but it's so strange because I feel like nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel unwell
"My indications are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be capable of doing all activities. And optimistically that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Development
MND can advance quickly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness kills a one-third of people within a year and more than half within 730 days of diagnosis, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the tears off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be very strongly concentrated on just welcoming and appreciating each moment now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been very fortunate that the only real decision I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much period with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Athlete Association
Top-level athletes are excessively influenced by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the condition is up to 600% greater than in the broader public.
It is considered that by restricting the oxygen obtainable and creating damage to nerve cells, regular, strenuous physical activity can trigger the illness in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Career
Moody, who won 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his courageous, persistent approach to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a tackle pad and commenced engaging in collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the set piece in the crucial phase of play, setting a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop-goal.
Assistance Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other former colleagues about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to depend on their backing but, at the present, just having that kind of care and acknowledgment that people are available is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a excellent family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to support in every way they can and I await having those talks."
